DEFINITIONS FOR LIFE

Etc :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Committee :
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Optimist :
A person who starts taking bath if he accidently falls into a river.

Pessimist :
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Dictionary :
The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

Miser :
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Father :
A banker provided by nature.

Rumour :
News that travels at the speed of sound.

Criminal :
A guy no different from the rest of us...except that he got caught.

Worry :
Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.

Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Software Engineer :
One that is paid for sending and receiving such E-mails!