Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Corporate language!!
"We will do it"
means
"You will do it"
"You have done a great job"
means
"More work to be given to you"
"We are working on it"
means
"We have not yet started working on the same"
"Tomorrow first thing in the morning"
means
"Its not getting done...At least not tomorrow !".
"After discussion we will decide - I am very open to views"
means
"I have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
"There was a slight miscommunication"
means
"We had actually lied"
"Lets call a meeting and discuss"
means
"I have no time now, will talk later"
"We can always do it"
means
"We actually cannot do the same on time"
"We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline"
means
"The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."
"We had slight differences of opinion"
means
"We had actually fought"
"Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you"
means
"Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
"You should have told me earlier"
means
"Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"
"We need to find out the real reason"
means
"Well I will tell you where your fault is"
"Well... family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected"
means
"Well you know..."
"We are a team"
means
"I am not the only one to be blamed"
"That's actually a good question"
means
"I do not know anything about it"
"All the Best"
means
" You are in trouble"
CHEERS TO RESERVATION :(
1. General students - Answer ALL questions.
2. OBC - WRITE ANY one question.
3. SC - ONLY READ questions.
4. ST - THANKS FOR COMING..
AND
5. Gujjars/Jats - THANKS FOR ALLOWING OTHERS TO ATTEND THE EXAMINATION .. !!
Is this the way things should be !!!
Only in.... Funny pics
Only in India
Only in Pakistan
Only in Bangladesh
Only in Japan
Only in Indonesia
Only in Australia
Only in Hawaii
Only in China
Read more...
Only in Pakistan
Only in Bangladesh
Only in Japan
Only in Indonesia
Only in Australia
Only in Hawaii
Only in China
Why Bill Gates decided to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
Subject: Problems with my new computer
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
15 Reasons why Call Center Guys are paid high !!!
1)
Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
----------------------------------------
2)
Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech : "Did you install the update?"
Customer : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
------------------------------------------
3)
Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech : "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer : "No..."
---------------------------------------
4)
Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------
5)
Tech : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech : ##### ***
-------------------------------------
6)
Tech : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech : ******_____####
----------------------------------------
7)
Tech : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech : ////-----+++
---------------------------------------
8)
Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech : ??????
----------------------------------------
9)
Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech : ?!%#$
---------------------------------------
10)
Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech : ??????
---------------------------------------
11)
Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech : @@@@@
-----------------------------------------
12)
Tech : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer : "Is that Eastern time?"
-----------------------------------------
13)
Tech : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech : *** ---- ++++
-------------------------------------------
The best of the lot
14)
A plain computer illiterate guy rings Tech Support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech : What's the problem?
User : There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech : (keep quite)
Tech : You'll need a new power supply.
User : No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User : No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech : 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech : (hush hush)
Tech : Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User : I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS . Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech : Then what did he say?
User : He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
-------------------------------------------------
Heights Of all (Too Good)
15)
Customer care officer :I need a product identification number right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust : sure
CCO : could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust : I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
How To Find Serial Numbers On Google ?
OK, this is a little trick that i usually use to find cd keys with google.
If your looking for a serial number for nero (for example) goto google.com and type nero 7qvt6 and it’ll bring it up.This works great in google
HOW DOES THIS WORK?
Quite simple really. 7qvt6 is part of a Windows xp Sp 2 Pro cd key that is widely distributed as it bypasses the activation requirements of Office 2K Pro. By searching for the product name and 94fbr, you guarantee two things.
1)The pages that are returned are pages dealing specifically with the product you’re wanting a serial for.
2)Because 94FBR is part of a serial number, and only part of a serial number, you guarantee that any page being returned is a serial number list page.
I hope this trick help you finding your cd keys easily
Enjoy :)
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